phyllida barlow

 came across this via insta and was taken with it just for this if nothing else - 

There are plenty of artists who don't have exhibitions, there is plenty of art that is never seen. … Making work that does not have a destination has it's loneliness and its sadness about it, and many artists endure that for their entire lives, and it's heroic.

i guess, these days, i would fall firmly into that camp but i don't find anything sad or lonely, let alone heroic about it. so much of 'recognition' it seems to me, is about external validation. i've got no need for any of that. i got published loads when i was writing but it just made me miserable. doing visual art, whether it was making it, or being involved in the business of selling, really wasn't any better.

i feel incredibly fortunate that creativity for me is a means to life not a way of life. i have no external deadlines, no gatekeepers, no need to be standing about, virtually or irl, droning on about art/writing etc. i am absolutely free to do what i want, when i want and to encourage others to do the same. it's a great mode of being!

*i'll make an exception for music, which is fabulous when it's shared. but, sadly, i'm rubbish at it. not that that's a bad thing - i'd wholly recommend having something you do, that you're just not good at, or at least only good enough to properly appreciate people who are. i still feel massively lucky to be part of the continuum of music. all of it really (even writing, which i'm gradually. gradually making my way back to after being pretty broken by all the publishing shenanigans) is just a joy