why i loathe computers

and all their incarnations.

so i need to do another site. maybe not a blog type thing but another site. off i go to google sites.

so far so good. there's a wee video man that tells me all the things i can do. even better. so i get my site - and then the trouble starts. where's the wee video man? he's vanished to be replaced with the ever helpful google help pages.

so i go to make a page. but surely there's a make page button. nope.

except according to google help there is. right there at the top right hand corner. where it isn't!

i go back to google help. i find the same query for some guy who lists the various languages he can program in but, like me, can't add a page on a google site. yeah, says google help, you need to go to the make page button at the top of the page.

eventually the help pages acknowledge that this button may not exist. uhm, change your browser they suggest. that might work but maybe best not use google chrome!

by this time i'm ready to throw my laptop out the window. obviously i delete the site. that right there is an hour of my life i won't be getting back. there is no limit to the resentment i feel about this!

i'm quite certain that there's a logic in the way these computer boys think, that really in their heads it is all quite simple. except that it's not supposed to be simple for them. loads of my work is spent getting people to understand systems and concepts they have no real idea of. it's not that tricky but there is a knack, a knack that seems entirely absent in the realm of 'helpful' software (rage, your name is indeed adobe)

so, off outside and breathe..... lovely

bloater

in lieu of the cycling i have been spending much time in the garden. first it strawberries, then unfeasible raspberries, both wild and homegrown. the other night we got into our red currants, a massive bowlful stripped form our overly prolific plant. red currant coulis with vanilla ice cream. that's all kind of goodness.

still to come, assuming i can get up the hill, are the blueberries, possibly a smattering of cranberries (some of which are happily growing in a bucket on the back step) and yesterday i even managing to scavenge a couple of early brambles as i cycled down the back roads.

nature is always better than tescos!

the knee story

no cycling posts for a while you might well observe. and this a race weekend. what have i been up to? up and down the glens, trying out unrelenting hill circuits around the house and generally readying myself for long days in the saddle?

all of these. it may be that i'll never be much of an endurance cylist and it's very likely i'll never show off the most skills but this year especially i've got my legs into a state of brutalising strength so muhc so that i can;t cycle with anyone as they can't cycle long enough, far enough or fast enough. all good then for the racing you might say.

which is true. except for one small detail - i'm having difficulty walking. i'd noticed niggling pains in my left knee and an increasing tendency for it to give way until last month i stopped being able to walk uphill and was struggling to walk home. i could still cycle but walking? no way?

i tried getting a quick mri/arthroscopy but it turns out in the world of orthopaedics i'm no young enough, female enough or pretty enough to be done any favours. with no strings left to pull i'm left flailing in the world of gp. i'll keep you posted.

so where does this leave me? getting fatter and unfitter and it's not pretty esp as this is the best summer i've had for years. am i bothered? to an extent yes but at the same time i have to accept my best days are behind me and i'll be, even in a best case scenario, cycling less years in future than i already have done. as such i've been enjoying the bike more and more with the certain knowledge that i'm enjoying a finite activity and this has communicated itself to the rest of my life. doing something is always better than moaning about something you can't!

stewart lee

one of the maddest things i've seen someone else do in this country came a few years back when myself and my partner of the time decided we'd go to stirling castle to see braveheart on site, a curious decision as neither of us liked it, indeed i'd go so far as to say i loathed it but it was free and it was at the castle so off we went.

all our fears were immediately confirmed by the swarms of drunk tartan army types hoaching around the place. but, just to get them psyched up that wee bit more, the organisers had decided to do a bit of re-enactment. cue some dressed up english mentalist giving the wallace character a proper kicking in front of the assembled masses. quite how he wasn't attacked i've never figured out but the film started just in time and it didn't happen. (we stayed until the tartan army boys started standing up to recite their favourite lines in conjunction with the rather unlovely mel gibson. pretty it was not.)

anyway, that was about as full on as baiting scottish people got. or so i thought. stewart lee is a comedian i can't be all that bothered with, too many pauses, too many repetitions and just a bit too laboured. until i saw this. and then this. from the repeated 'scotch' to the look on the face of the large gentleman. and gaelic - priceless. stewart lee, i thank you.

Jag är en farbror!

it took a while but we have a new addition to celebrate as t's brother and his partner had their new daughter. they're still in hospital at the moment but should be home soon. we're off to stockholm in a few weeks where we can begin our new role as eccentric relatives!

new map

so i was browsing along thru the guardian the other day and i cam across this.

i'm now willing to accept that there are two types of people in the world - those who find it dull as dishwater and those others (like the occupants of my house) who are completely absorbed by it.

if you're one of the latter any further explanation is superfluous. if you're one of the former i can't explain it to you.

today it seems as if most of europe has bought a book before going to work. i get israel and malta for the first time. latin america remains quiet. i must go and do some work. in five minutes....